(Dreamer)

While I think I don't really have energy to chat or speak with friends and people. I spent enough time chatting with chat gpt. Well maybe because it trained with huge amount of data, for me it's pretty good at analyzing us and giving what we prefer to be answered.  Sorry but lately my head buzzing about how hopelessly romantic I'm, and stupidly added by so many dorama and kdrama, so yeah. I don't really catch if AI giving answer by analyzing our interaction or also do that but to give a preferred answer. But even with a free version,  it's really interesting to read its point of view.  Well I'll be more interested in reading what chat gpt think about me, than random online quizzes and also 16 personalities. I'm not wholefully trust it, and I think some of its statements aren't true, but it still fun to read it anyway :3. Romantically – how you connect, care, and protect yourself: 🌒 1. You don’t fall fast—but when you do, it’s deep. You're cautious...

Kakak gua enteng banget nyuruh-nyuruh nikah *woylah. Anyway, mungkin memang sepertinya sudah saatnya memproritaskan hal tsb ya. One of my intention buat ikutan komunitas masjid di Bogor adalah meningkatkan chances buat ketemu jodoh, mungkin karena niatnya sudah ngga lurus to begin with, akhirnya ngga jadi gabung (alasan tukang wacana). Kata ustadz Adi, kalau menuntut ilmu, niatnya harus diluruskan lillahi ta'ala, jangan ternyata dateng buat yg lain-lain, nanti ngga dapet keutamaan penuntut ilmu, dan ngga bisa ngangkat derajat kita di akhirat. But let's be real, everyone's story is different from one to another, and besides praying, you also need to do the work. Whatever it looks like, because it is definitely gonna be different on every people. But once again I know my approach was wrong, I know I know 😔.  Kalo perhatiin pengalaman orang-orang, you can safely said kalo jodoh ngga bakal kemana. Kaya cerita guru gua dulu, sama-sama guru mapel yg sama dan pada akhirnya berakh...

Kalo mboncengin orang motoran jauh habis donor darah udah sering. Tapi pernah sekali,  ngide banget bawa ponakan 2 tahun donor darah ke blok M. Jauh amat ke blok M?, soalnya disana satu-satunya tempat yg dondarnya dipisah perempuan dan laki-lakinya *yg gua tau. Sebenernya tahun lalu pernah coba donor di masjid daerah Bintaro, tapi ternyata ngga ada dipisah -__- hish bete. Oiya waktu dondar bawa bocil, sebenernya pas berangkat alhamdulillah aman sentosa, tapi pulangnya doi tidur di setengah perjalanan pulang. Kadang I wonder, Allah ngasih cobaan kek gini tuh hikmahnya biar jadi wanita kuat kali ya?. Coba aja bayangin, tangan yg abis donor dipake buat bermanuver sendiri, trus tangan satu lagi dipake buat megangin bocil biar ngga jatuh. Tapi mungkin karena tahun itu cobaannya banyak dan keknya Allah sudah melapangkan ini hati, jadi malah excited, gils seru kali lah motoran macam ini. Tapi kalo dipikir-pikir lagi, itu tuh ngga ada seberapanya dibandingkan cobaan perempuan sholihah yg d...

Please bear with me. Kalo iman lagi lowbat gini emang. Planning yg keberadaannya ada dan tiada, mungkin lebih tepatnya harapan daripada planning, semuanya gagal total.  Ngga ada satupun yg tercapai. It's already half year,  tapi usaha gua masih gini-gini aja (elunya juga si wah kaga ada sungguh-sungguhnya sekali). Jadi, waktu itu ada post ustadz anb atau siapa lupa lewat. Ustadz bilang kalo lelaki menyengaja untuk tidak menikah tu ngga boleh,  kecuali doi berjihad di bidang ilmu seperti ulama-ulama terdahulu yg juga memilih atau terlalu sibuk untuk menikah. Tapi wanita tuh beda,  kalo mau berkhidmat dengan ilmu,  atau mengabdi pada orangtua, atau emang situasinya tidak memungkinkan buat nikah, wanita tu boleh memilih untuk ngga nikah. That was where the Aha moment came (ooo kalo gitu, mungkin ini tanda gua kudu berkhidmat sama ortu kali ya). Dari situlah gua mulai optimis cari-cari gawean lagi,  sebenernya opsi yg lebih memungkinkan adalah buka usaha, ...

Dear friends that I lost on the way,  Maybe it's just about time, about who stays longer than the other. Or about time in our life, that we had one or multiple problem that constantly consuming our head, draining our energy and needed to be solved. And managing friendship becoming something that we can't afford anymore. I know I might just talking about myself, or perhaps you felt this too?!. It's a commonsense we knew that we don't hate each other. We just had our own life as we continue making steps on a path that we choose that might distancing us apart. From one path to the other. Getting to know to a stranger, becoming someone to each other life, loosing one by one people that used to be special, and becoming stranger again. I might missed you guys occasionally, but i won't bother you. I still thinking about the past sometimes, I kinda like my life back then, and I also love you guys because of Allah (hopefully I still and always do). but life's still goes...

The phrase "May you as well go home, as I did on my own" Lately playing in my head. That's actually a wrong lyrics, as I googling it out again. One thing that I'm not telling anyone is, actually I had another crush on someone, that I thought at that time I might finally end up with someone. But it end up as usual, he marrying someone else hehe. It always been that way, but Alhamdulillah bini'mati tatimushalihaats.  I'm easily fall for someone, I realize it after more than a decade having a crush with an elementary friend, than finally easily moved on with other crushes. But those crushes never been reachable, whether I can never have a conversation with him, or it's a character from a manga or dorama, or the distance (literally) between us was way too far, or I'm already understood that there're hijab between man and woman, so it's almost impossible to chit chat with that creature again and etc etc. But Alhamdulillah it's always been that w...

I really want to cultivate mushroom :3. I'm thinking of making home scale production of button mushroom or Rhizopus sp. for tempeh starter, actually I'm also thinking about cultivating oyster mushroom, but there're already abundance amount of oyster mushroom in the store and traditional market, so I'm hesitating that species. But that's faar away ahead if I successfully start all those wacana and start home base research and hopefully successfully cultivate those store bought mushroom/tempeh. Maybe gonna start this project next month * hopefully not another procrastination, or another abandoned wacana.