(Dreamer)

Baru kelar nonton drakor wkwk, skip season sebelumnya lanjut ikutin yg release taun ini ajalah hehe. Even tho our approach in pursuing relationship a whole world different, but I think people have some similar consideration.  Well that drama got me thinking about that last proposal I've got this year. If Yumi thought that it was about the timing, in my case I think timing isn't the first thing to think of, purpose is. Kak Tita said "masa kesemsem tuh paling bertahan berapa lama sih?", you definitely need a bigger purpose to start a bigest change in your life.  If it's just about sensation of butterfly on your tummy, I think it's easy, just lower your guard down a little bit, and I think you might fall in a trap. But this is about a long sailing journey with one person for the rest of your life. You gotta make sure you both have the same destination, conscious about each other role and responsibility, and also make sure you both ready for the upcoming storms an...

Emak-emak tuh ya, kalo udah keluar, mau kenal atau ngga, ditinggal bentar udah asik aja ngobrol sama sebelahnya *sungguh tydak bisa relate.  Walaupun emak ngga jadi donor darah, tapi mayan lah ya motoran sambil mengenang masa-masa SMA yg wilayahnya udah bukan hutan lagi sekarang wkwk. Mayestik sampe Blok M tuh wilayah jajahannya emak gua, tapi anehnya doi ngga familiar sama daerah Senayan *padahal tinggal lompat doang. Emak-emak tuh kenapa ya, kalo ngobrol nemu aja gitu info anaknya orang trus berakhir jodoh²in. Padahal yakin cuma cuap-cuap doang, bakal ketemu itu ibu-ibu lagi juga almost impossible *hish pan yg malu anaknya, untung aing maskeran.  Kalo you udah lama ngga rutin donor lagi, apalagi aktivitas fisik udah ngga se-aktif dulu, umur juga udah bau tanah, sekalinya donor lagi tuh efeknya agak lebih parah dari pertama kali donor. Udah mana mata berkunang-kunang, keliyengan, pas darah berusaha ngalir ke kepala tuh juga berasa banget, and your hand and heart felt so funny...

Kind of addicted to Bogor 🫣 Jalannya itu loh, rindang, sebenernya di Bintaro atau Graha atau bahkan Senayan juga ada bagian jalan yang rindang, tapi entah lebih seneng aja gitu muter-muter ring luar Kebun Raya Bogor sambil jalan kaki, trus baliknya lewat alun-alun sambil jajan. Haaaa sugoku ureshi kataaaa :3. Kalo ada rejeki keknya bisa si di rutinkeun, kalo waktunya lenggang, sepedaan ke stasiun juga asik, trus lanjut keretaan sampe Bogor. Semoga dapat kerjaan sekitar bogor, ben bisa wandering around seenak jidat :3.

I thought this past years I don't really feel alive, beside everything becoming tastless with me losing my purpose of life, this world doesn't seems okay too, so It's not just me, everyone seems on survival mode and look at your surroundings and guess how many people who's barely living. Tapi kalo gua pikir lagi, selalu ada hal baru mau itu sekarang, setahun lalu, atau dulu. Dan masa-masa yang gua pikir seru itu sebenernya sama aja, banyak momen-momen nyesek juga dan mungkin karena sudah jadi kenangan jadi sounds interesting and fun.  Diantara takdir baik dan buruk itu, kita selalu punya pelajaran yg jadi celah kita untuk tumbuh. Gua kira cuma hal-hal yg gua bilang "seru" yg bikin gua hidup, padahal learning the hard way yg justru gua rasa bikin agak sedikit lebih dewasa. This Ramadhan, just like other Ramadhan and months that was past by, I'm doing lots of new things, dan nyicil project yg possibly bisa dikerjain. Wellh starting something never never been...

Katanya pahala sabar itu tak terhingga. Pahala orang puasa itu spesial langsung dari Allah,  karena kita bersabar terhadap apa yg sebenernya dihalalkan dalam kurun waktu yg ditentukan. My sister told me and Mama about pahala sabr things, and encourage us that we must be granted with a huge amount of pahala if we can do sabr with certain calamities that we've been encountered this past years.  If I thought about it, well I'm certainly doing it badly. Being stuck in this situations is such a huge burden and tremendously hard. Just look at how our character change drastically. Last time, Mama can't hold her tears and cried loudly though I almost never saw her cried even once before. I did moved into a room with a door lock, and my lil bro also prefer lock in his own room as much as I do. This house doesn't feel safe lately, so we do what we do now.  But thinking it as a qadr from Allah somehow sedikit membesarkan hati. Jalani aja dulu kali ya, sebenernya we expected to do ...

Lingkungan rangorang pas bocil tuh mirip-mirip ngga si?, eh bukan lingkungan ya, budaya? Hmm beda suku beda budaya dong ya?, kalau how things work?, maksudnya the way "ketua geng" becoming ketua geng and had his/her own "power and law".  Kalo jaman gua si, dari jaman TK sampai SMP entah sampai SMA juga atau ngga, kita tuh suka "adu kekuatan", buat membuktikan kalo kita itu kuat *Physically*. If you need to name it, hmm contohnya kuat-kuatan "gendong tuan putri" (Gendong didepan trus kepala temen you di satu lengan, trus dengkulnya di lengan sebelahnya). Serius itu cara gendong terberat cuy, dan masih ada lebih banyak lagi kegiatan fisik yg dijadikan bocah-bocah buat membuktikan siapa yg kuat dan ngga. Gua ngga tau siapa yg mencetus, tapi hisssh anda sangat menyebalkan, pertumbuhan tinggi gua terganggu gegara angkat beban dari kecil.  Walaupun gua yakin banget gua udah membuktikan bahwa I was strong enough, tapi beberapa kali gua tetep jadi outcas...