(Dreamer)

The phrase "May you as well go home, as I did on my own" Lately playing in my head. That's actually a wrong lyrics, as I googling it out again. One thing that I'm not telling anyone is, actually I had another crush on someone, that I thought at that time I might finally end up with someone. But it end up as usual, he marrying someone else hehe. It always been that way, but Alhamdulillah bini'mati tatimushalihaats.  I'm easily fall for someone, I realize it after more than a decade having a crush with an elementary friend, than finally easily moved on with other crushes. But those crushes never been reachable, whether I can never have a conversation with him, or it's a character from a manga or dorama, or the distance (literally) between us was way too far, or I'm already understood that there're hijab between man and woman, so it's almost impossible to chit chat with that creature again and etc etc. But Alhamdulillah it's always been that w...

I really want to cultivate mushroom :3. I'm thinking of making home scale production of button mushroom or Rhizopus sp. for tempeh starter, actually I'm also thinking about cultivating oyster mushroom, but there're already abundance amount of oyster mushroom in the store and traditional market, so I'm hesitating that species. But that's faar away ahead if I successfully start all those wacana and start home base research and hopefully successfully cultivate those store bought mushroom/tempeh. Maybe gonna start this project next month * hopefully not another procrastination, or another abandoned wacana. 

Kata ustadz Adi, kalau mau meningkatkan takwa, salah satu bentuk ikhtiarnya bikin tabel, mungkin semacam checklist 'amal yaumi kali ya?!. Pas banget si momennya, mumpung sedang menyongsong Ramadhan yang lebih baik, hayuk lah di realisasikan :3

I think, I'm just gonna do the journaling to make up my mind, because talking to a friend is not an easy thing as we get older. I don't really have a friend, if she's the one that intensely keep in touch with. Friends in my life are those who I met or contact when it is a time to do so. Pretty complicated but, low maintenance friendship is all we need as we getting old. I don't feel right to tell them my problems, and I don't think that it is easy to tell them what I feel, so I'm doing an easier work, that is to write them all.  If it's an update of me, it's me getting another allergic reaction. Well I have oversensitive immune system since I was a child. making it so hard to put socks and shoes. But teachers back then didn't want to understand, and we also couldn't pick up some of those scientific and medical reason, so in some season, I came home with itchy and hurting feet with socks sticking with infected skin and I had no idea how could I ma...

If I reflected from story of Adam and Hawa who descended from heaven, separated for years, or the story of Musa who took a flee from the country, even though before he lives in the palace, or the story of three sahaba who didn't join the war with no excuses. They all have something in common, they're done the wrongdoing, then repent to Allah and Allah accepted their tauba, and they're got tested by Allah, either it was descended from the heaven, or being chased by the authorities with no money, no home or whatsoever, or people was banned from talking to them for more than a month until Allah accepted their tauba.  We're not suppose to take wrongdoings lightly, and the point of repentance is that you really mean it, not a slight Astaghfirullah without any remorseful in it. Allah tested us to see if our iman is true. And don't just see the test itself, Allah prepare something better after the storm. Can you felt the relief from three sahaba who was been forgiven and t...

Ngerasa ngga si, sejak timeline dipenuhi sama berita genosida saudara-saudara kita di Palestina dan Libanon, kadang pas lagi aktivitas apapun itu, jadi suka zooming out. Sometimes you even feel bad for having a good meal, having good time on your own or with your loves one, smiling and laughing with children, it's all happens because you remember that devastating documentation that you saw in social media. It's so hard to witness those horrible scenes even just from our screen.  Imagine if you're on the scene, witnessing those massacre every single day for more than a year. Exhausted from running here and there, losing one by one of your family members, friends, neighbors, sometimes someone losing all at once, being a sole survivor, losing limbs, on the edge of hunger every single day. My hardship is nothing if I compare it with theirs. But they remain steadfast, they even do syukr so much better than me. Their iman are on the other level.  I'm so sad that I can't d...

EVERYONE MUST DOWNLOAD THE UPDATED VERSION OF BAYYINAH TV APP Besides now the app is available for a free version, so it is accessible for me as a fakir *muehehe, this version also seems easier to use *maybe they upgraded the UI, but I don't really understand in that matter.  As a matter of ustadh Nouman objective to provide a profound learning about Qur'an, how he explain in a storytelling manner with given context are such an eyes opening. Nowadays I tried a little to learn systematically as ustadh Nouman said, and I found that it easier for me to learn with given context as ustadh Adi and ustadh Nouman used to do. It gives me a better illustration, feeling and surroundings and context of ayahs.  Tipe belajar orang kan memang beda-beda, I'm not saying that some ustadh are less then the other, it's just I learn better in that manner. This also the reason why I rarely go to the majlis that I used to go to, and try to attend ustadh Adi lecture. And I more likely learning...