Lost docs

Berkubang di kolam procrastination again and again.  Pfffttt bangun hey mantusia :(

When you stuck, sometimes you choose to kept playing the same cassettes in your memories all over again. 'Cause I missed those human friends when I was a teenager. Sayang banget si entong terzeyeng rusak and my line was on reset without any backup, and so many photos on facebook had been deleted. Padahal mau reminiscing momen-momen yg sepertinya ngga bakal terulang, dan dokum yg ada sebatas album di Line dan some "currently still available timeline photos" di fb (and they would likely be unavailable anytime for some reasons like the other).

While people growing up dan mendewasa, keknya cuma muka gua aja yg menua, tapi isi kepalanya stuck di before dan early 20s. My head still remember all those fun things. Lomba antar kelas, studi kolaboratif, rame-rame motoran ke pantai dan spot wisata lain, belajar gitar, atap asrama, rombongan ke nikahan temen, nakam-nakam, motoran ke Magelang sama Nadhira, mantai, manjat gunung, dan lebih banyak mantai. I really missed moments when I'm surrounded by human friends. 

I really need to stop and moved on. My sister encouraged me to join a ta'aruf portal. Well I'll be procrastinating a lil bit more on that matter I guess. I know if I'm still waiting for something to come, I might be stuck here even more. Just move your feet and get a life already :(. But if I really am ready for the next stage, moved on surely is on my priority list (what the heck is even next stage 🤦‍♂️). And please keep on learning, why did you keep on looking back my dear dear head :(.

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I already reached the age that makes me felt lonely, bcs a lot if ppl at my ages in my country send their invitation or photo of their weddings, or photos of their 1st or 2nd child Kalo masih bulan lalu beda lagi ceritanya. Masalahnya I'm surrounded by people who're ready and already prepared to be married, dimana gua adalah manusia tertua di circle terbaru ini.  Padahal sebelum ini biasa aja, ngga tau ya kenapa vibesnya jadi berubah, sekarang² pingin nyanyi lonely... I feel so lonely, I have nobody.... Wkwk 😄😢. Tapi, gua yakin Allah pasti mempertemukan atau bisa juga gua mati duluan si, tapi tetep aja, gua yakin Allah pasti akan memberikan yang terbaik diwaktu yang tepat. Walaupun gua sama sekali belom bisa mencium aroma-aroma kapannya.  Nda apa-apa kalo teman² disekitar gua udah punya, mau dengan cara yg ma'ruf atau pacaran atau apalah, yang pasti, gua ngga boleh ikut²an. Allah udah memahamkan untuk ngga menyentuh hal² yang memang ngga dibolehkan. Ujian itu emang melati...
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