(Dreamer)

Dear friends that I lost on the way,  Maybe it's just about time, about who stays longer than the other. Or about time in our life, that we had one or multiple problem that constantly consuming our head, draining our energy and needed to be solved. And managing friendship becoming something that we can't afford anymore. I know I might just talking about myself, or perhaps you felt this too?!. It's a commonsense we knew that we don't hate each other. We just had our own life as we continue making steps on a path that we choose that might distancing us apart. From one path to the other. Getting to know to a stranger, becoming someone to each other life, loosing one by one people that used to be special, and becoming stranger again. I might missed you guys occasionally, but i won't bother you. I still thinking about the past sometimes, I kinda like my life back then, and I also love you guys because of Allah (hopefully I still and always do). but life's still goes...

The phrase "May you as well go home, as I did on my own" Lately playing in my head. That's actually a wrong lyrics, as I googling it out again. One thing that I'm not telling anyone is, actually I had another crush on someone, that I thought at that time I might finally end up with someone. But it end up as usual, he marrying someone else hehe. It always been that way, but Alhamdulillah bini'mati tatimushalihaats.  I'm easily fall for someone, I realize it after more than a decade having a crush with an elementary friend, than finally easily moved on with other crushes. But those crushes never been reachable, whether I can never have a conversation with him, or it's a character from a manga or dorama, or the distance (literally) between us was way too far, or I'm already understood that there're hijab between man and woman, so it's almost impossible to chit chat with that creature again and etc etc. But Alhamdulillah it's always been that w...

I really want to cultivate mushroom :3. I'm thinking of making home scale production of button mushroom or Rhizopus sp. for tempeh starter, actually I'm also thinking about cultivating oyster mushroom, but there're already abundance amount of oyster mushroom in the store and traditional market, so I'm hesitating that species. But that's faar away ahead if I successfully start all those wacana and start home base research and hopefully successfully cultivate those store bought mushroom/tempeh. Maybe gonna start this project next month * hopefully not another procrastination, or another abandoned wacana. 

Kata ustadz Adi, kalau mau meningkatkan takwa, salah satu bentuk ikhtiarnya bikin tabel, mungkin semacam checklist 'amal yaumi kali ya?!. Pas banget si momennya, mumpung sedang menyongsong Ramadhan yang lebih baik, hayuk lah di realisasikan :3

I think, I'm just gonna do the journaling to make up my mind, because talking to a friend is not an easy thing as we get older. I don't really have a friend, if she's the one that intensely keep in touch with. Friends in my life are those who I met or contact when it is a time to do so. Pretty complicated but, low maintenance friendship is all we need as we getting old. I don't feel right to tell them my problems, and I don't think that it is easy to tell them what I feel, so I'm doing an easier work, that is to write them all.  If it's an update of me, it's me getting another allergic reaction. Well I have oversensitive immune system since I was a child. making it so hard to put socks and shoes. But teachers back then didn't want to understand, and we also couldn't pick up some of those scientific and medical reason, so in some season, I came home with itchy and hurting feet with socks sticking with infected skin and I had no idea how could I ma...

If I reflected from story of Adam and Hawa who descended from heaven, separated for years, or the story of Musa who took a flee from the country, even though before he lives in the palace, or the story of three sahaba who didn't join the war with no excuses. They all have something in common, they're done the wrongdoing, then repent to Allah and Allah accepted their tauba, and they're got tested by Allah, either it was descended from the heaven, or being chased by the authorities with no money, no home or whatsoever, or people was banned from talking to them for more than a month until Allah accepted their tauba.  We're not suppose to take wrongdoings lightly, and the point of repentance is that you really mean it, not a slight Astaghfirullah without any remorseful in it. Allah tested us to see if our iman is true. And don't just see the test itself, Allah prepare something better after the storm. Can you felt the relief from three sahaba who was been forgiven and t...