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Ternyata interaksi yg kita kira biasa aja, seperti pertemanan pada umumnya, bisa memiliki arti yang berbeda di orang lain. Mungkin itu yang bikin ghibah itu asik ya, padahal haram :3.

Dulu, pas belum tau lebih dalam tentang ikhtilat dan batasan antara laki-laki dan perempuan, ngerasa biasa aja chattingan dan main sama lawan jenis. Tapi buat salaman, karena waktu MTs pernah salaman sekali, and it felt so wierd, so I never shaked my hand with boys in my class after that. But since junior high school, I always had 1 or 2 or 3 opposite gender friends to talk to about anime, music, game etc. Entah kenapa mereka lebih asik diajak ngobrol dan mabar di fb dibandingkan anak cewe *sepertinya karena anak cewe ngga ada yg nonton Naruto dan anime yg saat itu lagi tayang di tv si :'. Same goes with high school, but in high school I was more exposed about how man and woman supposed to be separated, and I have one lovely 'Naruto mate' to talk and befriend with. Tapi tetap aja, chattingan, timpal menimpal komen dan chat di media sosial dengan teman lawan jenis di jaman itu rasanya sama aja kaya temen cewe. 

I never knew that our interaction can be interpreted differently by other. Until someone came to my house and purposed me last year. He was an online friend when I was actively using fb and twitter. I never had any offline interaction with him nor by phone or whatsoever. But he came to my sister's wedding and we saw each other without saying hello. For me he was just another friend like my junior highschool and highschool friends. I never know that someone possibly could had interest in me. 

I actually heard a little when he talks with my dad, but I was too confused and embarrassed, so I was staying in my room and never get out until he leaves. At that time, I was just get home from Jogja so I had a solid reason to stay asleep. Because I don't want anything to be complex, so I choose to think that it wasn't a serious proposal, so I'm not responding. But weeks after that, he reached me by Ig and ask to know me more. It tooks me days to respond and told him to contact my sister's husband, as I already knew how interaction between opposites gender should be done in Islam, and part of me was scared that I somehow grow a feeling when everything was uncertain. But part of me wanted to refuse him, as I don't really had interest in him, tapi kebayang-bayang hadits menolak yg agama dan akhlaknya bagus, then fitnah and something bad could've be happened, so ta'aruf it is. 

Long story short, my sister told me that he seemed that he haven't been really exposed to majlis ilmu atau kajian online and learn more about this deen. And I somehow saw it too, and though that it could be a problem in the future, so it's a no. Tapi dari pengalaman itu gua jadi punya baseline dan gambaran if someday, to be married is one of my takdir, at least I want him to be committed with Islam, and I've got some other baseline list from kajian pranikah. And I want to be in a partnership to become our best version of our life by Islamic standards of course. 

Ditahun yg sama, sebenarnya ada yg ngajak ta'aruf via temen kantor. Tapi karena ngga sreg in so many way, termasuk gimana dia bermudah²an untuk ikhtilat dengan mba perantara ini, so it's an instant no. See, dengan baseline yg diajarkan di kajian pranikah ternyata berguna juga dikehidupan nyata hehe. Tapi sebenarnya gua masih meraba² juga si, yg penting sama-sama punya kemauan untuk memperbaiki diri, dan yg terpenting sudah mulai duluan, dalam arti bukan karena dunia atau wanita, kaya line kedua hadits tentang niat. Dan hal itu juga berlaku buat gua, semoga Allah memberikan keistiqamahan buat selalu berorientasi ke tujuan yg lebih kekal. Aamiin.