(Dreamer)

In fact, Im still hesitating I thought I already understood Intention of married need to be based on what Allah wants          Ibadah, dakwah, jadi muslimah yg baik, pasangan yg saling mengingatkan akan kebaikan, belajar bersama, hafalan bersama, belajar sabar dan ikhlas, sama-sama belajar untuk selalu melibatkan Allah disetiap lini kehidupan etc.. Karena kita ada di dunia ini untuk beribadah kepadaNya, bukan hanya dalam sholat, puasa dkk, di setiap aktifitas yg baik jika dilakukan karena Allah akan jadi ibadah *itu yg ane dengar saat kajian*.            Artinya, seharusnya ane ikhlas jika memulai dengan cara yg baik. Apalagi mama ridha, dan menawarkan untuk dikenalkan dengan cara yg baik. Tapi nyatanya, malah kaya menelan ludah sendiri. Dulu, ane selalu bilang, yah nikah sama siapa aja juga jadi asal agamanya bagus. Anung juga bilang, kalo bisa tanya ke tetangganya, suka ketemu ngga pas jama'ah di masjid, khususon shubuh dan isya'....

You know what? Being home 24/7 such a real struggle. Being a job hunter send send send all over to get my dream job, and I-don't-really-want-that-job nearly for a year Been in mother-daughter quarrels for almost every single day I have a rocky head just like her and father, every day I'm struggling not to easily get angry or whatsoever "Don't angry and jannah for you" I failed again and again, but I'm still working on that. ... Being home is what I've been avoided my whole live,  When I was applying for high school I pray to Allah, I wanted to be in boarding school if that would makes me a better person. Because I know, when I'm home I can't be anything. I can't rule my self, I don't know what path I should take. And I don't know how to overcome my and my mother stubbornness And half of my intention of taking college in yogyakarta is my runaway from home ... Long story short, here I am, home again I've been planning this and that, s...